“Nothing Ever Ends, Adrian.”

 

 

*SPOILERS GALORE*

 

Oh. My. God. 

I can’t believe what I’ve just seen. You know that funny feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you’re nervous and delighted at the same time? That. Just…That. I suffered through the entire Scream Awards broadcast on SpikeTV for the sole purpose of seeing the new Watchmen footage, and it didn’t disappoint. But this is me, after all, and it’s impossible for me to discuss something this momentous without a list. Joy.

Five Reasons The New Watchmen Footage Rocks

5) Manhattan’s huge hand shattering through the glass roof to pwn Ozymandias. I still can’t get over how absolutely glorious he looks. Magnificent and awe-inspiring, but still toeing the line between reality and fantasy. If the American Superman existed, he would look just like this.

4) The Silk Spectre. I’m actually kind of a Laurie fan (which is weird, considering my low opinion of so many “butt-kicking” women in fiction), and I adored every second she was onscreen. My favorite moment was when she threw what I assume to be the bottle of Nostalgia away on Mars. Something about the passion in her eyes. 

3) “God help us all.” I know it was in the teaser, but seeing the Comedian deliver it, world-weary and jaded, was just heart-wrenching. Poor bastard.

2) Dan and Laurie kissing as the atomic bomb goes off in the background. It gives me a lot of hope that they’ll keep some of the iconography from the book.

1) Once again, the list is topped by Rorschach. I was doing okay during most of the footage, managing only a few muffled shrieks into the pillow I was holding to my face. Then they gave me the scene of Rorschach leaping from the burning apartment, past the neon sign, moments before he’s unmasked. I swear to you, I got tears in my eyes. My roommate thinks I’m insane, but that’s always been one of the most emotional parts of the comic for me. I can’t wait to see Jackie Earle Haley in action.

And Now, The Downside

1) Okay, the thing about the squid (or lack thereof) has been all over the internet lately. It’d be very like Zach Snyder, who is by all accounts, a fandom-savvy guy, to use a fake ending for a screening. But on the other hand, it’s kind of an elaborate scheme. You’d have to straight-up shoot another ending all for the sake of keeping something that’s been common knowledge for 20 years a secret. Yeah. So I’m gonna say that the whole “framing Manhattan” thing is for reals. I don’t mind as much as I thought I would, either. I mean, I love the squid, don’t get me wrong, but if I’d never heard of this book before and I sat through a gritty, “Nolanesque” comic book film and then suddenly had a genetically engineered psychic squid thrown at me, I’d be a tad pissed off. The audience wouldn’t buy it for a second. As long as the nuclear device (whatever its exact nature) serves the same narrative purpose, I’m okay with it. The only issue I have is that if Manhattan is framed by Ozymandias, they don’t get to have their conversation at the end of the book. The “did I do the right thing” conversation. Damn it. 

2) I know I mentioned this in my last Watchmen fangasm, but it’s been confirmed that Nite Owl’s despairing scream in the snow is on account of Rorschach’s death. Which means he sees it happen. Which means Rorschach doesn’t die alone. Which means Emily is going to go sulk for a while. (If they must do this, then they have to develop the relationship between Nite Owl and Rorschach to a much greater extent than Moore does in the book. And while this makes the slash fan within me squeal with glee, I’d be willing to sacrifice all that glorious subtext, if it would prevent cheesy “buddy” scenes. God, Zach, please get this right.)